My Poetic Pendulum

Acknowledgement & Dedication

2008-09-01T15:05:00.000+08:00

In conjunction with the 1st Anniversary of MY INNER VOICE Blog, I'd like to acknowledge and dedicate MY INNER VOICE SPEAKS Blog to all who have shared and are sharing moments of my life. You are my mirror as I am yours too. Thank you for allowing me to express myself!

The Inspiration

2008-09-01T15:00:00.002+08:00

There’s a journey we all take
Burdened down with small mistakes
And each one takes us to a higher ground,
And the time to make a choice
Will take you to the inner voice
You’ll go alone and leave behind
A way of life, another time.

~ a song by susan aglukark
native canadian singer/ songwriter ~

A Lake And A Traveller

2008-09-01T14:58:00.001+08:00

The sun – high in the sky
The clouds – hanging low on the horizon,
A traveller of life
Searching for a reason to believe.

The air – clear and dry
The trees – waving gracefully in the breeze,
A traveller of life
Burdened by this body and mind.

The water – reflecting the blue of heaven
The boats – glittering in the light,
A traveller of life
His time, troubled and brief.

The waves – gently running to shore
The cranes – soaring high in circles,
A traveller of life
His journey, winding and uncertain.

The lake – part of the world
This world – made of beauty and ugliness,
This traveller, travels on alone
This traveller, he comes and he goes.

~ Written in Calling Lake, Canada (1997) ~

And Yet So Far...

2008-09-01T14:57:00.001+08:00

You and I, father
Under a roof we live,
As close as we can be
But the gap in between
Miles afar our hearts,
Will it ever close up?

For years have worn
But I don’t know you,
You seldom talk to me
Nor play with me,
Though I’m part of you
Your images are mine to see.

At times when I needed you
You were never there,
Sorry feels for you and me
What’s the use it could be?
Time and love are all I need
Bitterly, you never gave.

We are flesh and blood
But will I ever get to know you?
No, no, we can’t go on like this,
We must break the ice
Ere it freezes our hearts
And forever we shall be apart.

~ For my biological father ~

Auntie Lilian

2008-09-01T14:53:00.003+08:00

No one in this world
Could ever be like you,
I will always hold my trust
In someone as wonderful as you.

A voice to console
When my peace was stolen,
An ear to confide
When I needed you by my side.

All that heaven would allow
You gave yourself unselfishly,
Never did I have a doubt
All the sacrifices you've made, truthfully.

The places we have been to
Thanks for all the joy you've brought to me,
There was nothing you wouldn’t do
And ever so grateful I will be.

The man you love has opened a door
He came so far to find you,
The two of you will be together forever more
With a whole new world lies before you.

Though you’re so far away
I’ll run to the top of the hill,
Just to say what I’ve wanted to say
“I love you and I always will.”

~ For Lilian Teoh (1993) ~

Autumn

2008-09-01T14:52:00.001+08:00

Leaves flapping like butterflies in the wind
Stripping the trees of their golden blossoms,
My eyes blinked – where has summer been?
You were gone abandonedly too soon.

There is not a cloud in the sky
Distantly, the hills seem coated with rust,
Carelessly time just sails on by
Of what use is all the fuss?

Dust blows from the fields of gold
Farmers harvest from goodness of the earth,
Quiet desperations in a suffering world
Showered the land with unconditional love.

The daylight is getting brief
Some people change, some people don’t,
For Diana and Teresa the world grieves
‘Peace’ is marked on their tombstones.

In the west, the sun always fades
This fragile life is not worth to cling,
Fallen angels sheltering in the autumn shades
The most glorious twilight I’ve ever seen.

Being

2008-09-01T14:51:00.003+08:00

Everyone has voices inside the head
And not everyone knows until they stop to hear,
Some choose not to hear them instead
Could it be the reason because of fear?

Fear of losing the mind-ego identity
A mind that lives in the past and future,
Mistaken emotional illusions for reality
For is this not how the mind feels secure?

Your life situation is not your LIFE
Only with time and space does suffering exist,
Will you not go beyond this endless strife?
The harder life’s journey gets, the harder you resist.

Peace and joy are never to be found
In a world full of dramas and lack of presence,
Or in a mind with too many sounds
Until you surrender them to silence.

Being okay when things are not okay
Makes a clearing for the unconscious to be awakened,
Somehow along the way, many of us have gone astray
If only we accept What IS, we’ll be enlightened!

True Being is immeasurable and timeless
Beyond freedom, happiness and impermanence,
All there is; is a feeling of wholeness
All you ever have NOW, is your PRESENCE.

~ Written on December 2004 ~

Broken

2008-09-01T14:50:00.001+08:00

The picture of a broken man
Staring at a broken mirror,
Wondering about his broken life
All his dreams torn asunder.

The picture of a broken home
Staring at a broken reflection,
Wondering about his broken promises
All his hopes torn asunder.

The picture of a broken land
Staring at a broken mirage,
Wondering about his broken hand
All his labour torn asunder.

The picture of a broken world
Staring at a broken montage,
Wondering about his broken tears
All his mind torn asunder.

The picture of a broken window
Staring at a broken screen,
Wondering about his broken sorrow
All his veins torn asunder.

The picture of a broken flower
Staring at a broken sky,
Wondering about his broken thoughts
All his trust torn asunder.

The picture of a broken wing
Staring at a broken face,
Wondering about his broken song
All his blood torn asunder.

The picture of a broken picture
Staring at a broken memory,
Wondering about his broken religion
All his faith torn asunder.

Child

2008-09-01T14:48:00.002+08:00

A new horizon twinkles in an eye
A smile dawns to the world,
A joyful tear falls from a mother’s eye
A moment in time, an infant is born.

The air he breathes
The sound he cries,
The life he possesses
The mind he has,
The spirit of innocence in him
He, is the father of man,
He, is the miracle of two people,
And he, of all, is human!

Child, you are part of the vast universe
You are part of the sky, the star
The sun and the moon,
You are yet to learn the lessons that
Life has in store for you, child.
You shall learn of fear,
Of anger, of pain, of loneliness, of hate
And you shall also learn to see the light,
The light of hope, of peace, of joy,
Of forgiveness and most of all, of love!

The gift is in your hand, child
Trust in your heart to lead the way,
To know the right from wrong
To know the good from bad,
The world is how you create it
And it is for you to find yourself!

Child II

2008-09-01T14:48:00.001+08:00

A crimson setting on the edge of the horizon
A smile cracks on the face of the moon,
A moment too soon, another day is gone
A legend tells how the innocent ends.

The mind behind his life
The meaning in his mind,
The purpose running through him
The destiny ahead of him,
The values he believes in
He, is nothing but a creature of culture,
He fathoms not every reason behind history
And he, is a mindless being lost in time.

Child, you are again part of the vast universe
You are part of the space, the earth,
The society and the generation,
You have learned much of the lessons that
Life has in store for you, child.
You shall learn more of state,
Of references, of believes, of values, of fulfillments,
And you shall also learn of the nature’s law
The law of creation, of growing, of withering,
Of death, and most of all, of rebirth!

The decision is in your hand, child
Trust in your heart to find the way,
There is no right nor wrong
There is no good nor bad,
The world is the way it is
And it is for you to know yourself.

Day To Recollect

2008-09-01T14:46:00.001+08:00

Do you still recall that day in fall
When you flew away with the wind?
I couldn’t see the writings on the wall
But I could see that you were my queen.

Do you still recall that cold winter day
When we sat together by the fire place?
All our troubles were lost in the haze
But you left me on stage to end the play.

Do you still recall that day in spring
When we took a stroll by the riverside?
I didn’t know what life would bring
All at once, you drifted away with the tide.

Do you still recall that hot summer day
When we picked shells by the ocean shore?
Then, out of the blue came a fay
She took you away and left me in sore.

Marian, my lovely maid,
Why did you have to go?
Not a word was said
And I miss you so…

Does It Matter...?

2008-09-01T14:44:00.001+08:00

A stale picture of the world
So stale mere blue and gray,
The sky’s going to cry out
Does it matter if there’s a God
Or not?

The vacantness in my heart
So excruciatingly painful at times,
This mind’s going to scream out
Does it matter if there’s a God
Or not?

The long and winding road
So it is this road to liberation,
Destiny’s calling out to me
Does it matter if there’s a God
Or not?

The born of suffering is life
So must we not realize?
Death’s calling out to mankind
Does it matter if there’s a God
Or not?

Earthly Miracle - Human Refreshment

2008-09-01T14:43:00.002+08:00

Suddenly silence filled the sky
Stillness all around without a sound,
Birds don’t sing, leaves don’t rustle
Feels like I’m all alone in this corrupted world.

Looking out the window, looking at the world
Silvery clouds turn swarthy, devour the sunlight,
A gust of wind whips the dust on the road
Lightning strikes, thunder grumbles, my heart stumbles.

Drops of rain falling to the ground
The sidewalk wears a shiny slippery coat,
Rhythm of the rain plays through the town
And my sorrowed heart starts to float.

Water cascading down the window pane
Blurs my vision of troubles and pain,
Water running down the hillside
Carries away all my egos and pride.

Rain drops from heaven is passing
Nature’s tension is released from the atmosphere,
Rays of golden sunlight is coming in
And the meaning of life is again dear.

Once again an earthly miracle is done
Every leaf and blade of grass is fresh and green,
My private rainbow is facing the sun
My spirit’s cleansed, I’m totally renewed!

Everlasting Love

2008-09-01T14:43:00.001+08:00

Years have gone by
Time has changed,
But one thing remains
My love for you is still the same.

The world may evolve
The sea may turn to sand,
But we dost comprehend
Our love has made a stand.

A muse has befallen me
Thy love set me free,
Ere I was once lost
But rive shall never be found, no more.

Thank you, I say to thee
A pair of linnets on the tree,
Ay! We are as can be
Everlasting love, eternally…

Existence

2008-09-01T14:42:00.001+08:00

I am alone with myself
In this room filled with silence,
In the sea of samsara I delve
Day by day, confused by this existence.

At the brink of my sanity
I keep trying to find the truth,
Perhaps in a life of brevity
That which I should start with my youth.

For what is the meaning of my existence
But to experience sorrow and pain,
This world is so full of ignorance
And nothing is worth the gain.

In this meaningless existence
I realized my emptiness,
The only path to deliverance
Is to practise the Dhamma with mindfulness.

Farewell, "Mr. Rocker"

2008-09-01T14:30:00.003+08:00

In between ‘Hello and Goodbye’
We shared our pleasure and pain,
Our joy of laughter, our cry of hurt
Our friendship we have at best.

This relationship is still new
And yet it feels so true,
Had we met somewhere before?
Perhaps in our past lives, long ago.

Though the time we spent together was brief,
I might not have made it without you
In a place so cold and solemn
And eternally grateful I will be.

Just like a dream
Which has no beginning and ending,
For now we may part
You will stay here and I will go,
But our affinity will let us meet again
I hope someday... somehow.

Sometimes we may walk in the rain
At times in the shine,
No matter what life brings
I’ll remember you with your patience,
So fare thee well, Mr. Rocker
May you be well always…

~ For Sung Kok Hoo (1996) ~

Father Loves Son

2008-09-01T14:29:00.002+08:00

The look in your eyes
Like father loves son,
You must have seen
My pain, my sadness
And my loneliness;
You smile at me
Like father loves son.

I’m going down
This long highway,
Alone and unsure
Of what is beautiful;
You give me your hand
And smile at me
Like father loves son.

What have I learned
From living this life?
There’s hope in sight;
I’ll be forgiven
If only I knew my crime.
You smile at me
Like father loves son.

You kiss my pain
And heal my wound,
Every memory of you
Is part of me now;
I’ve been blessed
I’ve been loved
Like father loves son.

~ For Abhinyana, Inspired by the song Jesus to a Child ~

Free

2008-09-01T14:28:00.001+08:00

At the break of dawn
A new life is born,
A life so pure and innocent
Until he starts to seek for reasons.

Reasons why he was born,
Reasons of a life –
Is it to live to die
Or is it to live to be free?

Like an empty piece of canvas
Painted with colours of emotions,
Sometimes happy, sometimes sad
At times not knowing why he’s happy and sad.

For he has taken the steps
Towards a journey full of uncertainties,
Now he must pay his debts,
And realizing he can’t have everything his way.

The destiny is in his hands
Making the best of the worst,
Or making the worst of the best
Is all a matter of the mind.

In the circle of birth and death
He finds only unsatisfactoriness and suffering,
To realize the permanence of impermanence
And soon he shall be wise.

He is a man but nothing
Only elements of a mind and a body,
Living a life full of attachments
So that’s the way it is before enlightenment.

Purification of the mind
And avoiding evil deeds,
Leaving all the conditions behind
Is not so easy indeed.

But with patience, persistence and perseverance
There will be a day
When he breaks out of his own prison
And he shall be free –
He shall be enlightened!

Garden Of Stones

2008-09-01T14:26:00.000+08:00

No beginning and no ending,
Just another evolution
In the garden of stones.

Be you the king or the pauper
A person of fame or of shame,
No living beings escape
From the garden of stones.

Some may go there earlier
Some may go a little later,
But we will end up all the same
In the garden of stones.

Your deeds are the judgement
Of your evolution,
Either you find your home
Or you go astray,
Returning to the garden of stones
Or never!

He who never returned
Is the Buddha,
He who had found home;
“Do good, avoid evil,
Purify the mind,”
Is the path to
The garden of Nibbana.

Genting Highlands

2008-09-01T14:25:00.000+08:00

A timeless land
A land without day or night,
A land above silvery clouds
A land touched by civilization,
Dead cold as a coward
Hiding away from the sun.

Your virginity was raped by man
Who claimed your green blood,
He turned you into a paradise
Insatiable of human’s deadly desire,
And he shall be craving for more and more
Even though he’s got a stomach full of gold.

In the night so windy
I can hear your scream,
For you shall never hear the call of the wild
You shall never again see the eagles fly
Or know the colours of the sky;
When I wake; “Was it reality or merely a dream?”

How does it feel bitten by reality?
Being a helpless slave in the palms of man,
Being a place where
Mindless man throws away his time,
When he comes here searching for
Something he thinks he deserves.

Just what have I done
Being a part of heartless man?
Look at what we have done!
Having hearts filled with sand;
When will we ever learn?
When will we understand?

Though my hope is somehow shaken
Never did I have a doubt
That time will heal your wounds,
Then you shall be a land, so pure a land
Beyond greed, beyond lust, beyond time
And by then, you would already have died.

~ Written at Genting Highlands (1995) ~

Give In To Time

2008-09-01T14:24:00.001+08:00

Empty room crowded by the past
White hair frames a pale face,
Rocking in her favourite chair
Flowing into seas without a shore.

The years that ran away
Left her living out of the world,
She’s living her life locked in an old dream
She’s lost in this ever changing world.

Once she was young would dance and play
Her heart was brighter that all of the many,
Never realized the beauty of the days
Until they were gone, so pretty.

Now she’s at the mercy of the world
Like a wren without a song,
Her heart is just a living beat
Waiting for time to take her along.

Take the last bus to your home in the past,
It seems that every wind that breathes
Blows from the fields of sleep;
You see the sun above the hills
And the stars across the sky,
The same sea under the golden hills
And the same hills under the red sky,
Your eyes have died but you see more than I.

~ For my late Grandma ~

Glasses

2008-09-01T14:23:00.001+08:00

Made of a frame and twain lenses
I’m part of your daily attire,
For a fragment of your sight lost its sense
And that’s why I’m there
Right in front of your eyes
Sitting on your nose
Hanging on to your ears.

What you see is what I see
I couldn’t protest even if I try,
You oft see things I don’t understand
What are the things you called
Life, love, happiness and sorrow?
Why are there good and bad?
How am I going to understand?
And when?

You better don’t lose me
For you may not see the things
You’re seeing now without me,
Do you realize master,
Lest I’m your best friend?

I Cry For You

2008-09-01T14:22:00.002+08:00

A ship sailing through space
So mighty and so beautiful,
From afar I can see your face
With colours of white clouds,
Deep blue seas, golden deserts
And green forest mountains;
I cry for your beauty… Oh Earth.

The ageless years that you are
How many things have changed
And tears have fallen,
Your children made holes in your heart
They cracked your bones
And they stole your pound of flesh;
I cry for your pain… Oh Earth.

Who are we but sojourners on your land
Do we have the right to hurt you?
To dirty your essence of life,
Your air, your rain,
To tear down your mountains
To cut down your trees
To turn you upside down – inside out;
I cry for you… My Dear Earth.

With these tears water the seeds of life
Together we shall live
And together we shall die;
I cry for you and me… My Dear Earth.

I Love You More

2008-09-01T14:20:00.001+08:00

Every morning waking up beside you,
Welcoming each new day with open arms,
I remember my life was once blue,
Now we have each other to keep from harm.

In this lifetime, we share in our completeness,
Being true to ourselves, of who we are,
Heart to heart, we soar with easiness,
Hand in hand, we reach for the stars.

My love dearest, you are perfect
In this world of imperfectness,
To have found you is something I didn’t expect,
For your love has filled my heart’s emptiness.

I hold this precious relationship
Not as an obligation but an opportunity,
To see more in you in ease and hardship,
Together we are creating our life’s destiny.

Being you paints a picture of contentment,
You are part of my life’s fulfillment,
I mean this from my deepest core
Everyday I love you more…

~ For my ex-lover (November 2004) ~

I Want To Be...

2008-09-01T14:18:00.001+08:00

I want to be like the snow
that falls freely from the sky
that lands gently on the sidewalk
that melts quickly on a warm day.

I want to be like the runaway
that runs away from the world
that forsakes his boredom and loneliness
that knows not where to run to.

I want to be like the clown
that weeps behind his laughter
that wears a smile in his tears
that makes people happy despite his sorrow.

I want to be like the water
that gives life to every living being
that reflects the moonlight in the night
that changes its forms but not its elements.

I want to be like the tree
that cools every being from the heat
that shelters every being from the rain
that falls to the ground when its time comes.

I want to be like the flower
that decorates the broken pot
that salutes the air with its fragrant
that fades away with the ashes of time.

I want to be like the candle
that burns to dispel darkness
that lights the way to liberation
that flickers when the wind blows.

I want to be like the saint
that meditates amidst a clamorous world
that frees himself from defilements
that breaks away from the wheel of samsara.

Just Another Star

2008-09-01T14:16:00.001+08:00

If I had wings I would fly
Into the heart of the night,
To be among the lonely stars
Beyond all these internal wars.

Long since have I wandered
In a world of endless becomings,
A vagabond seeking for asylum
An agony of unrivalled solemn.

If I could fly with the angels
I would never come back,
To this senseless internment
For I shall see the colour of freedom.

Long since have I wandered
With a mind so untamed,
An ancient journey of discoveries
An ideal world made of trivialities.

What is a wave but part of the ocean?
What is a tree but part of the forest?
What is death but part of living?
What am I but just another star…

Life

2008-09-01T14:15:00.002+08:00

Life is a moment in space
A brief moment of human race,
Human race with a blind trace
Trace to find is much a waste.

All to be found is only pain
Blue pain that drives life insane,
Insanity that leads to lonely lanes
Lonely lanes that make the heart faint.

Black heart’s become a golden classic
More fragile than years of jurassic,
Years of memories are getting thick
Bitter memories are making the mind sick.

The old mind’s drowned in loneliness
Loneliness soon to see plain sadness,
Sadness that yearns for sweet tenderness
Tenderness to tame sleeps of restlessness.

Sleepless nights full of peaceful dreams
Dreams impossible to hold, it seems,
I shall surrender my blood to the Queen
And when the world cries – I win!

Life II

2008-09-01T14:14:00.000+08:00

Life – you are an enigma and a mystery
Are you a question or an answer? No one knows,
And indistinct definition is found in my dictionary
Bewildering! But that’s the way you are.

Life – you have watched me grown up
And you have laughed and cried with me,
But you have given me the facts all in a gulp
How am I ever supposed to know?

Life – you have brought me up and down
Isn’t it the way you’re supposed to be?
A moment of truth is all that I haunt
If my wish came true, I shall vow to thee.

Life – you have taught me lessons of living
Lessons I wasn’t at all prepared to learn,
Do you realize it’s my mind you’re hurting?
Are you kind enough to set me a new turn?

Life – you have pushed me through too many doors
And you have closed too many doors behind me,
I don’t want to play the stage anymore
Rest me in a coffin and throw away the key.

Lost

2008-09-01T14:13:00.000+08:00

I am lost in the map of my heart
I am put on a journey without a chart.

I am lost in the labyrinth of my mind
I am severely confused walking among mankind.

I am lost in the heat of summer
I am almost dried of my sense of humour.

I am lost in the cold of winter
I am an obliterated pathetic painter.

I am lost in the eyes of love
I am no mighty eagle but a faint-hearted dove.

I am lost in the eyes of hate
I am hoping this senseless storm would abate.

I am lost in the bright of day
I am so blinded I feel like rotting away.

I am lost in the dark of night
I am helplessly drifting in agony out of sight.

Man

2008-09-01T14:08:00.001+08:00

In between birth and death
Man takes his existence into immortality,
An illusioned world by himself
He is lost in reality.

Now facing one way, then the other
Not sure of which way to go,
Always trying to get his life in order
Merely to please his self-ego.

He is a cautious creator
And also a reckless destroyer,
Took a day to build Rome
But a second to destroy it.

A conservative and also a rebel
Too afraid to be different,
But bold when making a change
Like clear skies about to rain.

A stubborn yet reasonable being
Sometimes loving, sometimes resentful,
Caught in the confusion of living
He can be a wise man or a fool.

Man, he has many a choice
To be a criminal or a saint,
A deva or a ghost
A blessing or a curse; to himself or others.

A rubbish heap of evil
A storehouse of virtue,
Emotions leap ahead of his mind
He thinks and his emotions colour the world.

The passage of night and day
Cutting and shortening his life,
Soon he must find a way
From darkness to The Light.

Moving On

2008-09-01T14:07:00.001+08:00

A silent moment like this
Always speaks the truth to me,
Oh! How sweet life is
With a clear mind I see.

I’ve been dancing with life
Like a leaf floating in the wind,
This dance has made me wise
To be able to forgive my sins.

I am living in the present
Learning from the past,
Erasing all this nonsense
Is really not an easy task.

I will strive on again
Even if my heart has been broken,
My experiences have not been in vain
My heart and mind will remain opened.

I am planning for a future
Filled with joy and adventure,
I am moving on this pasture
Savouring every step, I am sure!

Music

2008-09-01T14:06:00.001+08:00

The cordial of my ruffled soul
Is the sound of music to unfold,
The intimidation fist in my rage
Straighten by the music age.

From classical to rock n’ roll
It all depends on the mood,
Rocks away the troubles in my soul
Such is the remedy to find my root.

A work of art so divine
A charm to soothe the savage mind,
The healing balm of broken hearts
The binding cure of severe cuts.

Melodies are made to be permanent
Stay unchanged in different conditions,
I’m the vulnerable and the impermanent
In the world of music I always find my passion.

My Best Of Time Has Yet To Come

2008-09-01T14:04:00.003+08:00

In the rush of this race, I squandered my chances
Never did I know, I was rolling dice with destiny,
Playing this field, I have committed offences
Reading between the lines led me to scrupulosity,
And I know my best of time has yet to come.

Lost my religion in the spotlight, such a foolish beat
I found that half of you was half of me,
If only you’d let my wisdom flow through the creek
Across this darkening world I was too blind to see,
But my best of time has yet to come.

Beneath the flying stars, myself and sorrowed heart
With the deepest of remorse and indescribable pain,
Man called them the state of the human art
Like rain beating on the window pane,
But my best of time has yet to come.

The best of time has yet to come
The pieces of life have yet to mend,
My life is not yet done… not yet done,
I’ve come so far to see the glory of the sun
And my best of time has yet to come.

My Poem

2008-09-01T14:03:00.001+08:00

Weary but could not sleep
Perhaps the night is too silent,
My brain’s aching for another verse in my poem
As the clock wastes away with my confused memory.

For my ink’s running dry
But the paper is whiter than before,
Could I write of beauty or of pain?
Perhaps a poem for reading pleasure.

Life runs away like the clouds
That fly away with the wind,
For how long does a man have to live
Before he could find the truth?

Someday I know I shall kiss the bloody stones
For my ancestors had kissed them before,
I wonder did they live in vain?
Or is it me that is to be blamed?

Now have I taken the age of time
To write this very poem?
Till my skins decay
Eaten by the jaws of time.

Naked are the trees in winter
But they’ll be wearing leaves in spring,
Such is the birth of another morning
And I shall fly to the sun, on extended wings……

Puppy Love

2008-09-01T14:02:00.001+08:00

He’s holding your hand now
And you feel sure,
You feel on top of the world
You think you’re mature,
But think again, my dear,
Are you old enough for it?
Are you prepared for it?

Don’t be a fool, my friend,
Don’t rush in,
Your heart may be warm right now
But how long will it last?

Someday when he leaves you
You’ll find your heart breaking,
You’ll find yourself walking alone
On the lonely street,
Then go ahead,
Please go ahead and cry.

If you need love
Then save some for yourself,
If you want to give,
Then love a puppy
Cause a puppy will always be faithful to you,
A boy may take you for granted.

Retreat - To Go forward

2008-09-01T13:58:00.004+08:00

Once upon a fable…
So smoothly the cruise went,
But then, reality got in the way
All her dreams were murdered by reality;
Oh, how she had worked for her goal
But then, faith came and gave her a blow;
Does it seem fair, oh dear old world –
Troubled soul, troubled soul,
Peace is gone, troubles moved in;
Retreat, retreat, she’s retreating.
I close my eyes, oh
I think she’s falling, falling hard,
Then, I’m curious to know,
“How’s her little heart?”
“Is it still strong or has it gone weak?”
Please tell me I’m right,
She needs a sanctuary –
Some time to pick up the pieces of her life,
To strengthen her spirit again,
For how long could she keep sane?
My love, I know you too well,
Someday you’re going to stand tall
Upon the pinnacle of a rock
High above the flood of failures
And when you bounce the ground,
You’re going to ride the arrow
To the target ONE again – and remain.

~ For Tan Lee Teak (1992) ~

Slaved To The books

2008-09-01T13:53:00.004+08:00

Poor child, poor child
You’re slaved to the books,
But they will do you good
Everytime you try to look
You’re caught in the future hook.

Poor child, poor child
No time for play
All night and day,
This is the price you pay
For a better day.

Poor child, poor child
I wonder if you ever desire
To break the cage wire,
Other children have retired
Do they know they’re playing with fire?

Poor child, poor child
You better slow down
Or it’s a nervous breakdown,
But your parents wear the crown
Be wise not to make a sound.

Poor child, poor child
Get your priorities right
Make your burdens alight,
Futile if you sigh
Remember we’re always by your side.

Poor child, poor child
You’re slaved to the books,
But they will do you good
Everytime you try to look
You’re caught in the future hook.

Spring

2008-09-01T13:53:00.001+08:00

Birds sing to welcome spring
The world comes to a wake,
Don’t know what the season may bring
But it’s time to give winter a break.

Gray skies turn to blue
The sun shines splendidly bright,
In this world, kind people are few
A new hope is coming into sight.

Morning breeze whispers in my ears,
The impermanence of everything
Brings many to their tears:
Let go and fly on eagle’s wings.

The hills are kings
The trees are queens,
Some people cry, some people sing
To find out what life means.

The lawn grows a green
Sweet clover leaves reappear,
All the suffering I’ve seen
With enlightenment will disappear.

Starry Night

2008-09-01T13:52:00.002+08:00

O, it’s another starry night again
The memories of you filled with pain,
On that starry night you took your life
You left me in the spotlight to survive.

Vincent, my friend, now I understand
What you were trying to comprehend,
I wish I could change the fate
But it’s already much too late.

What happened to the promises we made?
Now that you’ve left me in this state,
Deep down in my heart, I miss you so
Why, why did you have to do so?

Angel, the stars are your friends
But our friendship has never ended,
I shall leave a light on
For you and me on the starry night.

~ Inspired by the song for Vincent ~

Such Is The Nature (Peace Within)

2008-09-01T13:50:00.004+08:00

Above the circle of blue are fluffy clouds
Rain will fall upon the lake below,
Inside the lake are gold and black fish
They swim to-and-fro, here-and-there everyday;
Such is the nature of the fish.

Beside the lake there is a wooden hut
Inside the hut lives a hermit monk,
What lives inside the monk is the whole of humanity
The chant of peace is in the air everyday;
Such is the nature of the monk.

Life has its ups and downs since life begins
The world out there is always at war it seems,
There will always be ‘the-gots’ and ‘the-not-gots’
Humans mindlessly rush round and round everyday;
Such is the nature of the human world.

Differences existed long ago and will go on existing
We all have our own dreams of happiness,
Should we not then dream about peace for all?
Who will preserve the peace within if not you yourself?

Summer

2008-09-01T13:50:00.003+08:00

The sun smiles as summer comes
The wind laughs at the heat,
It’s the most beautiful of months
With blissful joy my heart beats.

Clouds march across the sky
Not many people will realize,
That someday they too shall die
For it’s not always easy to say ‘good- bye.’

Blue mountains rise high
Leaves dancing in the wind,
This child looks at life with a sigh
Wondering where the truth has been.

Vehicles whip the dust on the road
Some people love, some people hate,
Aren’t we all in the same boat?
Do good for goodness sake.

When the sun closes its eye
The world is drowned in night,
And another day goes by
Strive on with the Nature’s guide!

Swept Away

2008-09-01T13:48:00.002+08:00

Looking out the window
Leaves sifting down in the September moon,
They have no more tomorrow
As life has passed them by too soon.

You do recall crystalline
The day you bloomed with the sun,
Didn’t know what it all meant
Until it was all over and done.

Every passers-by gazed with admiration
They had not an idea what you were going through,
In the shine or in the rain
Nobody knew your most holy pain.

People took you for granted as nonentity
They didn’t realize the life you were giving,
It was you with your self- pity
Upon the goodness of earth you made a living.

Like the rainbow fading in my eyes
When the wings of time fly by,
It is time for you to say ‘good-bye’
I wonder why did you have such a short life?

As you let go of your hands
The force of the earth will take you by the heart,
It would all end when you touch the sand
And on the next day, you will be swept away.

~ For Teresa and Diana (1997) ~

The Four Seasons

2008-09-01T13:39:00.002+08:00

When spring comes
The land once was empty,
Is filled with colours
Motley colours of flowers.

Sweet scented fragrant
Runs through my nostril
When the wind blows,
So gently,
It caresses your hair
And suddenly I begin to care.

Songbirds start to sing
They are singing a chorus
For lovers like us,
Asking me to pick a flower
For you to show how much
I love you.

When summer comes
The sky would be so blue
With silvery clouds
Shaped like our hearts.

Sitting on the sandy beach
Staring at you
As the waves wet your body,
Making me realize
How beautiful you are,
I’m glad you’re mine.

When autumn falls
The leaves turn to golden yellow,
Separating from their branches
Falling to the solid ground.

The stars shine splendidly bright
In the dark sky,
Reflect their lights in your eyes
Full of passion and love,
Makes me want you
More and more each night.

When winter falls
Our little world seems
To turn pure white
Covered with virgin snow.

The nights would seem so cold
Without you near me,
Heavenly, you’re by my side
Giving me warmth and security,
Filling the voidness in my heart
Keeping me in ecstasy through the years.

Since I’ve found you
I’m not lonely again,
All the seasons that come
Are a bliss to me,
Let's cherish the moments we share
And make them last eternally...

The Journey

2008-09-01T13:38:00.001+08:00

From the cradle to the sky
When a man reaches too high,
He loses his roots and mind
For every gain has a price.

From childhood to adulthood
When a child grows to be a man,
He never does things he should
For is not earth a promised land?

From birth to death
A man comes to many crossroads,
Always deciding on life’s quests
The more he craves, the heavier the load.

From life to life
A man wanders on and on,
Every time rolling the dice
Everyday a fool is born.

From fullness to emptiness
Is a conviction of the heart,
With sadness and happiness
Let him make a start.

The Mind

2008-09-01T13:37:00.002+08:00

Thinking in silence
The silence is getting louder,
Where is he going now?
To the past… to the future
But never the present.

The most powerful and yet
The most vulnerable,
From dawn to dusk
He is always restless,
Reeling from one sensation to another.

Locked in the prison of his senses
Senses he is unable to control,
Is he aware of the breath he takes?
Does he know where his mind is now?
Is he clinging to the happiness of the past?
Or is he drowning in the future of uncertainty?

Man, he is nothing but a mind
A mind so wild he is unable to conquer,
And yet the world he conquers
Man, he shall remain a mystery……

The Mind II

2008-09-01T13:36:00.001+08:00

In silence, he thinks not
The silence is truly silent,
Now, he is going nowhere
Not to the past nor the future,
But always in the present.

He could not be the most powerful
And yet the most vulnerable,
From the beginningless time until now
For He is a Buddha
Always calm, always aware.

Free from his self-prison of senses
He is fully aware of the breath he takes,
He knows where his mind is now
He clings not to the happiness of the past
Nor is he drowned in the future of uncertainty,
He is certainly happily living – NOW!

Man, he is nothing, not even a mind
Whence he conquers the mind
He also conquers the world,
For man is no mystery, but empty.

This Child

2008-09-01T13:35:00.001+08:00

This child will grow to be a man
This child will do the best he can.

This child is afraid to be alone
This child is afraid to turn to stone.

This child with a broken heart
This child with hope in his heart.

This child is on a journey still unknown
This child is trying to find his way home.

This child, he exists without a proof
This child is searching for the truth.

This child is a spiritual being
This child for certain is dying.

This child yearns to be free from misery
This child, his life is no mystery but empty.

This child, enlightenment seems so far
This child will shine alone like a star.

This Conversation

2008-09-01T13:33:00.002+08:00

Somewhere, a moment in time, someone’s thinking of you,
Wondering how life would be without your existence,
Who would then listen to my breakdowns and breakthroughs?
Who would I share my sadness and happiness with... if not you?

Life somehow seems to work in mysterious ways
What could have brought us here in this time and space?
Perhaps it’s true what people say,
When the student is ready, the master will appear.

I was living a life, disillusioned and unexamined
Lying and cheating myself of who I wanted to be,
You have coached me to look beyond all that
I’ve finally found the freedom to be who I am – my true self!

Though I know this too will come to pass
Like everything else in life,
I am cherishing the conversations we still have now
For they have deeply impacted my life.

When life no longer exists for you and me
This conversation will echo on and transcend time,
For you have made a difference in my life
And I will remember you until the day I return to dust…

~ For Winston Chew (June 2004) ~

This Path I Pass Only Once

2008-09-01T13:30:00.003+08:00

Nothing is for sure in this world
But one thing is for certain,
This path I pass only once
And I shall make the best out of it.

Beyond shadows there is light
Standing in the darkest of shadows
I see the brightest of light,
And this path I pass only once.

With the grievance tears I shed
Water the seeds of inner joy and happiness
And the flowers will bloom in times of spring,
For this path I pass only once.

On this land we live
There are excruciating pain and sorrow,
But only then we can feel the best of joy,
And this path I pass only once.

This path I pass only once
And now I begin to understand
What it’s all about…
And I shall never pass this way again.

Time Flies

2008-09-01T13:29:00.001+08:00

People always say, “Time flies”
If you’re not aware
It’ll catch you by surprise
I wonder if you even care.

One day, standing on holy ground
You’ll realize
That time waits for no one
Who cares if you cry.

Regret you may
But to no avail
Your youth has turned to clay
How much to have it bailed?

What is time anyway?
But the rising and setting of the sun
The changing of night and day
All this time, what have you done?

A clock is not time
Time is not a clock
Time is also not dime
Time is LIFE.

Now that you know
It’s time to grow
Waste no more time
Anytime, you might die!

Today

2008-09-01T13:28:00.001+08:00

Between two eternities we stand
Of the past and the future,
Today is life within lives
In its brief course we exist.

The glory of being alive
Shut the iron doors of the past,
For yesterday is but a dead dream
And the future – the unborn tomorrow.

Today well lived makes every yesterday
A dream of happiness
And every tomorrow a vision of hope;
Live today, therefore
All that matters
Is right here and now,
The verity of this very moment
Is truly an unrepeatable miracle.

Tonight

2008-09-01T13:26:00.002+08:00

Night falls
With the setting of the sun
And the rising of the moon.

When night comes
Loneliness begins to grow,
And I start to feel
Your absence in my soul.

When midnight strikes
I call out to you,
My dear, my love
I’m in need of you,
Please come to me tonight.

The twinkling stars above
Seem to fade in my eyes,
I wish upon a shooting star
For your warmness tonight.

The cold wind is flirting
In the dark sky,
Wipes my tears away
Down the dirty drain.

Two glasses of champagne
In the candle light,
Our song’s playing tonight
I’m waiting for you, my love,
I’m waiting for you tonight.

True Friends

2008-09-01T13:22:00.001+08:00

True friends are hard to find
For long they do not bind,
And I shall be left behind
How could they be so unkind?

True friends are somewhere there
Waiting for someone to care,
But who will ever dare?
The pain is hard to bear.

True friends will always share
The loving cause they care,
No matter what colour you wear
You will ever be a pair.

True friends will always love
They don’t just wear gloves,
You don’t need to shove
The friendship will not be closed.

True friends shall never betray
Or leave you in astray,
At night you need not pray
It’s worth more gold in a tray.

True friends shall stay together
Coldness put it in cover,
You and I have discovered
That we are forever……

Upon Victoria

2008-09-01T13:20:00.000+08:00

The rain was falling upon Victoria
In the twilight of a solitary picture,
My warm heart hidden from the autumn chill
My silence filled with profound zeal.

The night was moonless at the harbour
The air was sacred and still,
As I walked down the timeless street
A fine calm descended upon me.

Unsmiling buildings adorned with lights
Points of light shattered upon the water,
I gazed at the distant Pacific Ocean
My mind suddenly swept by a notion.

A white horse trotting swiftly into the darkness
Drawn upon its face was such sadness,
I was lost in a moment without frustrations
In a world of my own beyond commotions.

Strangers passing by exchanging glances
Curiosity painted upon their expressions,
Like them, I was searching for tranquility
A wanderer upon Victoria, constantly……

~ Written in Victoria, British Columbia (1997) ~

Victoria Park

2008-09-01T13:18:00.001+08:00

There was a park in London City
On the north of The River Thames,
In the old land of England
Where colourful people played games.

It was built a century ago
For the people of East London,
It was not very far from where I stayed
Very near the games people played.

Every Sunday I would walk
To sublimely beautiful Victoria Park,
Passing through an old canal
Where I saw people paddling canoes.

I could smell the scent of grass
In the soft gentle morning breeze,
The view of Victoria was clear as glass
While she left me standing there at ease.

Barren trees without leaves
Dropped to the ground in winter’s chill,
Well, it was one of nature’s gifts
Behind the scene there was no hill.

A fountain in the middle of the lake
Rising flowery high without a break,
There was a blue café by the lake
Where the man sold ice- cream flakes.

There was also a cottage where the keeper stayed
So beautiful a cottage I sprouted a wish,
Wished that I could have such a place
To live with my lover in our olden days.

Birds and pigeons flying in the air
Ducks and swans swimming in the lake,
No one knew I went there in despair
No one cared until it was too late.

Used to sit at my favourite place
Watching the children at play,
Feeding the ducks and swans with bread
While the birds and pigeons stole with grace.

At Victoria Park I used to find my peace
Thinking of the people I really missed,
Hoping that they would give me a kiss
When I went home with a broken heart
And I said ‘good- bye’ to Victoria Park.

~ Written in London (1993) ~

Wars

2008-09-01T13:13:00.001+08:00

When missiles havoc the sky
And the dead scatters the land,
Blood stains the holy rivers
Flows like the blood in my veins.

Rock turns into sand, sand turns into dust
Dust flies with the vile wind,
The same goes for the human spirit
Too many lives have gone up in smoke.

Too many countries tron by their idols
Turn the silent peace into war,
Well, politicians may save themselves
While senseless scars befall the civilians.

Gentleness has perished from human’s heart
The world has surrendered to man’s evil,
Is there still hope for human race?
Are we lost in modern madness without a trace?

A dark horizon slowly coming into sight
Mother nature’s gardens turn into deserts,
What has come over human beings?
Rare values are left to be seen.

Well Wishes

2008-09-01T13:11:00.002+08:00

In this timeless time and spaceless space
I’m thinking of a thousand thoughts in my thought,
Of how I may wish him well and yet still be true
Sometimes it’s not easy to pass on your thoughts clearly.

The like attracts the like they say
Two intelligent minds could be a dangerous thing,
Which mind will lead the other
Or which one will follow the other?

Sometimes words are not enough to express what needs to be expressed
Words could even lead to false expression,
How about golden silence then?
Silence too could be misinterpreted sometimes!

Perhaps I should let things be as they are
Perhaps I should keep my choice for another season,
I would be my own destiny maker… somehow
Whether to stay on this path or to take another.

No matter what my choice would be
This time and space will be another chapter in my book of life,
You would have been my teacher, companion and kindred friend
And for that you’ve touched my life and forever grateful I shall be.

~ For Fong Yew Siang, (October 2003) ~

Yes... No?

2008-09-01T13:08:00.001+08:00

There is bad in every good
And there is also good in every bad,
Hence, nothing is completely good
Or bad, is there?

There are people who have eyes
That cannot see,
And ears that cannot hear
Are there not?

There are the blind who can see
And the deaf who can hear
The teachings of the Buddha,
Are there not?

Now who are we to judge
Of who or what is good or bad?
Are we not them?
Are they not us?
Are we all not in the same boat?
Sailing in the great sea of samsara.

There have been and will always be
People who will learn of The Path
And people who will not,
Those who will and stray from it
And those who will and stay with it
All the way to Nibbana!